November and a moan.

 

Don't read if moany, self pitying, lemon suckers bug you! 

Well, went to class on the first. Paid for the Christmas group meal deposit. Got on the scales. 3.5lbs off -a bit to go and I took stock. I've been up and down the same half a stone now since April. Ridiculous of me to get stuck so! Even though I can congratulate myself on STILL being a lot lighter than when I rejoined group this time last year, I still am nowhere near where I want to be. 

SO why can I not do this? 

What is wrong with me? I know the science. I know the facts. I know that sugar and sweeteners cripple my joints. I am a fairly intelligent being. I am a good cook and am easily capable of adapting any recipe. My fridge is FULL of good wholesome stuff. I am just not choosing to eat wisely. Last night for instance. Nobody wanted anything much and I was glad really as I was tired. We had good old fashioned beans on toast. I had an expensive but had been reduced to half price artisan sourdough loaf that we used. For bread avoiders for reasons, sourdough is the most acceptable option. I had two slices toasted and we three adults shared two standard cans of baked beans - I had the smallest portion. Which doesn''t sound so bad BUT I absolutely slathered on the butter! Willingly, willfully, knowingly. 

There was chocolate swiss roll cake for afters - a half price colin the caterpillar from M and S. I only really had the crumbs from cutting their slices. But crumbs still hold calories and sugar! 

So today is Thursday. I have some beautiful prawns to eat today - not decided if I will have them cooked with onions and paprika for tea or have them in a salad bowl at lunch. Maybe at tea time. I am making a leftovers beef cottage pie from the brisket I cooked other day ( great again actually with plenty of speedy veg and only a tiny potato - but I DID then eat my own yorkshires ). I will then have the leftovers from that for my lunch with a portion of veg. We will all eat the same tea on Friday. A SW friendly chicken curry is planned. 

They say at class planning is the key. I am full of plans! Just also full of stupidity because that is all it is. I am a grown woman and I have no idea how I managed to lose weight every single week without a single gain or maintain in that full year August 2017 to August 2018. 

I have turned into one of the people I used to sit and judge internally week in week out for being at group and not going anywhere with it. I am quite a horrible person for that. A despicable trait. I depise myself for it.  Serves me right. I am now that woman. Arrrgh. 

Even writing it all down here probably won't make a difference! Maybe I should quit class for a bit? Maybe I should quit with the excuses and just do what I know works! 

Maybe a mini daily goal to include a 'do more' and 'eat less' suggestion! I've got very lazy and sluggish and I've certainly been eating more!

Right off for a bit of body magic - a schlep round the field with the dog. 

Goal for today - hit 10,000 steps, eat NO BREAD.

Will be back with the truth tomorrow. Or maybe I should try a post every night. Hmmmm will have a think. 

TTBLF Rachel x at least a try is better than nothing!